I've been involved as an Indigo/Starseed for around 18 years. However, I was transmuting the archetypical/collective/historical traumatic energies (although not realizing this was what was going on for a long time). I always focused on the positive spiritual stuff and was able to manifest positive things, help others with legal issues, bringing out the corruption and systems that needed changed with that warrior-type energy.
However, 5 years ago began my personal hell. Just when I was ready to return back to northern CA, where there were more like-minded people (none around here in OH where I came back at my family's request to be there for my nieces and nephews), I became incapacitated by what started happening. I was suddenly being thrown around the house with what I thought were just seizures, all kinds of CNS, ANS, brain, spine, neck injuries/dysfunctions etc. Yet I kept working on the spiritual/personal healing and growth. And whenever I'd get to higher vibrational frequency or make progress I truly believed was going to get me through....all of the sudden WHAM! - something would hit me in the face, some kind of blockage to my progression or even knocking me backward, leaving me more and more exhausted, in excruciating pain, unable to even take care of myself at times with all that was happening.
It was brought to my attention that I'm highly sensitive empath, so I was aware I needed to work energetically, work with protection, and deal with negative energies/entities. I never wanted to even go there (to even think about negative entities, negative aliens, etc.) because I thought my focusing on them would only bring more of the same kinds of things or even attract them to me if they already weren't there.
I tried so many things, on my own, and working with professional healers over the phone. Unfortunately a lot of these ended up as really bad experiences (seemed I'd attracted "healers" who were not as they presented themselves), and I was quite shocked as these people had a lot of followers. I kept asking God why all this was happening, and I knew I didn't deserve it. I've done a lot of psychological, emotional, shadow work, etc. And I KNEW I didn't deserve this and something had to be attached to me or implanted; I even wondered if I'd been abducted as a child and implanted because of seeing faces of "greys" a lot when I closed my eyes. But I had no memory of this or anything that would confirm such a thing as far as I knew.
The house I was in ended up having toxic mold and slow carbon-monoxide leak. So, I thought that was the cause of it all (although it really seemed to be like a "surface" cause, to make me think that's what it was).
I've had to stay with family for the past year and while I some of the symptoms decreased, more bizarre and increasingly damaging things happened. My family even attacked me (some literally). I kept trying to participate in spiritual/ascension healing work (soul integration), etc. over the computer. But I would suddenly lose my connection, internet or some other technical problem out of nowhere that would keep me separated from the classes and people. Whenever I'd get close to others and think I finally had some positive support, something else would happen to keep me from communicating with them.
I've had problems with the legal and medical systems, to where malpractice has occurred, doctors have even attacked me, the legal system has done things those involved could lose their licenses for, etc. But to report these people would take about 100 years, there has been so many in the past 5 years. Plus I thought with Ascension, the warrior-type energy was meant to change into more of forgiveness and compassion and just focusing on raising the vibrational frequency, Love, being heart-centered, etc. Though things just kept happening. So I was forced to consider the negative entities and worked with professionals over the phone to cut chords, release negative entities, etc. Though things still got worse.
I've been in so much physical agony and inability to hardly live, I've even been forced to consider suicide as the only solution as I don't want to bring any more negativity into the world now, and my family would be better and happier. I never wanted to hurt or cause problems for anyone. I was always independent and put myself through college, becoming a successful engineer, etc. However, I've gone through actual physical torture for years, determined and committed NOT to commit suicide.
So I continued searching/investigating, and I just barely made it to an Ascension-lated expo and worked with a woman there, where it was discovered there was an imposter spirit attached to me. It seems when my best friend died 5 years ago (in a head-on collision) my reaction was extreme and left open the opportunity for negative entities to enter. We did however also discover my friend had been hijacked when he didn't realize he'd died and was earth-bound. This imposter spirit used him to get to me. But we seemed to be able to help him move into the Light, and I thought that was all the answer.
But I was wrong. There is still something blocking, sabotaging, hurting me. And when I finally made it through your OCTOBER ARTICLE (my brain's still recovering) :) EVERYTHING YOU TALKED ABOUT APPLIES TO ME!
But I've just recently discovered your site and articles through Denise Le Fay's site (whom I also have just been learning more about). So I've never done the 12D Shield (actually I tried it once a couple months ago, but got frustrated at myself for not being able to comprehend and follow through. And I don't know the other things in the HGS Clearing Process, such as the Aurora Guardian and Indigo Shield.
I don't even know where to begin with this psychotronic warfare stuff, and consequently despite my efforts to raise my vibration, the forces working against me have left me in the condition you stated earlier in the article. So, I don't know what to do or if it's even possible for me to do all this in the condition I'm in. I was going to order your Intro to Ascension CD to start with, but it would take too long to even get here, and I honestly don't know if I can survive that long.
Do you have any suggestions, assistance, referrals, etc. that can help me in the state I'm in (where my engineering brain is long gone, making concentration and focus difficult, on top of all the other issues)?
I sincerely apologize for the length and for having to bring this info and request to you. THANK YOU so much!